Necessary Items
-An anvil
-A metric assload of simple machines

STEP 1: Get yourself an anvil, any anvil will do. In this case we have a blue anvil of the household variety.

STEP 2: Tie up the anvil with a complicated-looking rope knot. No, this is not some kinky anvil bondage practice, it's part of the master plan for your death!

STEP 3: Construct an elaborate rig of pulleys, levers, wheels, axles, inclined planes, wedges, and screws to hold the anvil above your head during your final moments.

STEP 4: Relish your final seconds on planet Earth. Take the time to make peace with your favorite posession (in my case a balloon that says "pirate party").

STEP 5: Brace yourself for the moment of impact (remember to wince. ALWAYS WINCE.) then let go of the string holding up the anvil.

That stinging sensation means you're dead.