This guide will show you how to make MySpace the coolest place ever.
Tips for Owners:

-Make sure users are forced to use only one page. Multiple pages mean more connections, this cuts down on server traffic!

-Any visitors that wish to view additional content can very well register. Imagine, trying to get a complete friends list without registering!

-Enable users to all kinds of crazy effects and plug-ins. I'm sure most of them have taken a class in web-design.

Tips for users:

-The first thing to pick out a picture. Ideally, the picture should include other people besides yourself. The more people, the better! If you are forced to use a photo of just yourself, make sure that you're not properly centred. This makes it more dramatic and 'artsy'.

-Now, the next choice is to pick a background. Solid colours are OK, as long as you find one obnoxious enough. High resolution images are even better, but better still are patterns, like checkers or hundreds of tiny hearts or something.

-Now it's time to pick your font colour. The main thing to consider is what your background colour is. This is like matching clothes: you don't want your font colour to be more than a few shades off from your background colour. If people have to highlight all the text to be able to read it, that makes your page more interactive.

-Font size: SMALL

What should you put on your page? Well, thankfully, you have me to tell you.

-Surveys are good, they let people know a little bit about you. But do we want people to only know a little bit about you? I think not! Therefore, you should have a minimum of three surveys on your page.

-Myspace has a little area for your interests-- take full advantage of it! List atleast thirty to forty bands (you don't have to listen to all of them). The main thing here is to impress people. Under movies list anything you can think of. Television isn't really as important, and books are the least important. Two or three books is enough. Reading's for losers anyway.

Don't get nervous about the "About Me" or "Details" section, I'll guide you through it.

-Status: This is asking whether or not you have a significant other. It's really your choice whether you pick "Single" or "In a Relationship", it depends on what you're planning to use your page for. If you want to use it to vent your frustration about why "men/women suck" then pick "Single". If you want to post lots of pictures of you and your boyfriend, then pick "In a Relationship." Don't be tempted by the "Swinger" option, you'll only impress easy girls.

-Here for: Just pick "Friends". If you pick "I'm here because I think it will help me get laid", that's actually just counterproductive. It scares people off, and they think you're lame.

-Orientation: Upright, Southwest, and 92 degrees are not options here. What they really want to know is your SEXUAL orientation. You could pick "Straight", but that's kinda boring. "Homosexual" is the most interesting, but someone could call you out on the fact that you only have interest in the opposite sex. "Bi-sexual" is the safest. This is the right mixture of rebellion against social norms and believability.

-Hometown: This is where you put what town you're from originally. This is very important, because everyone cares. SO DON'T MESS UP!

-Body type: Either put your height in (number of feet)'(remaining inches)" or your height in (number of feet)'(remaining inches)"/Athletic. Don't use the metric system. That's for nerds.

-Ethnicity: Either put "White/Caucasian" or "Other".

-Zodiac sign: Find the corresponding sign for the date you were born. You'll have to look it up.

-Smoke/Drink: This doesn't want to know WHAT you smoke and drink. So saying like Bubble pipe/kool-aid is wrong. It wants to know whether you smoke and drink. "No/No" is your safest choice here. Also, "Yes/No" isn't a viable option; don't pick it unless you want to look foolish.

-Children: Put "tasty." Haha. Just put "Someday".

-Education: Put "High School".

-Occupation: You could put "Student", but it's better to write "Pimpin'" or something like that.


Now then. You need some content (or do you?). Keep these rules in mind and you'll have a killer page!

-Marquees are awesome. And they don't have to be used just for text, put pictures in them too!

-Capitalisation, punctuation, and proper grammar, are unnecessary. After all:
its just as ez to reed typin liek dis as it is 2 read
Typing like this.

-A quick note about the blog feature: never have more than five entries. Blogging is for the folks that use stupid ol' Livejournal or Blogger.com.

-Everyone likes the same music as you. Brighten their day by having it autoplay when your page is loaded. It's even better not to have any visible controls to stop it.

-The only thing better than having music autoplay is having a VIDEO autoplay! Make sure to use a buggy plug-in for this.

- These punctuation marks make everything look better:
...
~
*
Use them frequently.

-Pictures of you and your friends are a treasure that should be shared with the world.

-To make your page more interesting, why not use a different cursor style?

-Outlining all your hyperlinks with rectangles that overlap each other and make the text half-visible will make your page more difficult to navigate. Which means no one can leave! Or another great way to make people not leave is to make all hyperlinks use strike-thru text, so that everyone thinks they're dead links and then they won't bother clicking them.

-Think of the smiles people will get when they experience your nifty mouseover events. Wow! When I put my mouse over this link THE TEXTS GETS BIGGER! That brightened my day!

Follow these guidelines and you'll have an awesome myspace page. Have you been paying attention? Take the reading quiz.