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Never put salt in your eyes. Why is that great advice? Just try it once. You'll see—or rather you won't see. The real problem is remembering. Never put salt in your eyes? Put salt in your eyes? Always put salt in your eyes? This is one of those lessons where once you've done it once or twice you tend not to repeat it.

Never put salt in your eyes. It's one of the first lessons you learn when you're young. And yet, how many of us still try it, even though our mothers have told us not to? The thrill of doing something we've been told not to ends about the second those crystals touch our cornea and begin to dissolve our eyeballs. Mother knows best, indeed.

Some people say that this is advice so obvious it shouldn't even have to be uttered. Pooh to them, I say. These are the sort of people that come out of the womb reading encyclopedias, and expect everyone to be as much of a brain as them. "It should be clear that through the process of dehydration and reverse osmosis the water will be drawn from the vitreous humour, blah, blah, blah." Then how come tears taste salty, hmm? Clearly salt was meant to be in your eyes. Just don't try putting it there yourself. It will burn.